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And trust me, I checked, for days. And there's at least more that 400 pics of her doing solo pics. To be honest, I thought I was in heaven! That is, until he told us the reason why he called us to his place. "Guys, we can do the real thing! Just like every Bondage shoot, the real thing is finally here!" Oh yea, so we always talked about doing a tough tied-up photo shoot with some chick that wants to, forgot to include that. "Do you mean, k**nap her and **** her?" I said. With hesitation, he raved on, "if she is doing this and it's on the Internet, I bet she will be willing to, if we include extra cash in her surprise payment". I honestly didn't know what to think. To actually sedate her and k**nap her for a fake ****, at first I was shocked. That is until my pitter was saying something else. "Don't worry! I know she will understand, and especially if there's money involved!" Loe'n behold, in the end, it didn't turn out like we planned, not by a slim. We all agreed to. " Later. Do the right thing." I'll try. This is between you and me, right." You and she have to figure this out. I'm here for both of you." Jim was right. I'd discovered over time that he was right about alot of things. Even so, I couldn't figure out how to get out of thismess. I got up and went to my closet. I put on a pair of jeans and atight T-shirt. It sounds ridiculous, but I figured if I dressed theright way, the male way, the gay way, I'd be able to think clearlyand find a solution.I looked at myself in the mirror and began to cry. Not just tear up,but bawl like I hadn't since my mom died. I looked like a fool. I wastrying to trick myself. I had lost all sense of who I was. Was IBrian the bottom? Jessica? Some freak condemned to go through lifealone and pitied? I went into the bathroom and threw up. Then, I justlay on the bed and stared at the ceiling for an hour. I was lost for the rest of the day. For once, I couldn't work. Itried to, but I couldn't focus. I tried to read,.
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